Below is a plan, my story and my self reflection
Idea:
Camp Kaitawa, hike to the top.
- Windy
- Rickety Platform
- Hats
- High
- Huge Valley
- Trees
- Leaves
- Scary
- Wooden platform
- Glow worms
- 6 people max
Vocabulary:
- Scattering
- Creaking
- Whipped
- Glowed
Success Criteria:
Hook the reader in.
Include the important information for the reader.
Includes the details so that the reader knows how we feel.
Past tense.
On top of the world
Have you ever stood on top of the world?
One dark and windy night, my class piled out of the cars and stood around, waiting for instructions. A person covered in multiple rain coats and beanies, emerged from the van.
“Number Off!” She yelled. A range of voices echoed through the night air.
“Perfect. Off we go!” Trooping towards the bush, I stared upwards at the towering trees. My friend and I chatted while looking ahead to make sure we didn’t fall over. Tramping on, tiny pinpoints of light appeared before us. A hush fell over the group.
Then, the night exploded around as as the torches turned off. Glow worms covered the rock walls beside us. The stars spread across the night sky like glitter. I stared around in wonder, pondering how something could look so pretty. Caves of darkness would have looked menacing if not for the glow worms. The beautiful scene didn’t last long though. The teachers ushered us further up the track.
We were at the top. A warning sign loomed in front of us. ‘SIX PEOPLE MAX’. Everyone was in a line, staring at the old steps that led up to the rickety wooden platform. My friend and I shivered, not wanting to step onto it. Chatting, we watched the line dwindle down till we were almost at the front.
“Up you come!” Yelled Miss Hill. ‘Oh No! Please don’t let me fall off!’ I thought, gingerly putting a foot on the platform. I heaved myself up.
Boom! The wind smashed into me like bull. I grabbed my beanie just as it started to slip from my head. The platform was wobbling dangerously beneath my shaking legs. Slowly, I crept towards the edge. Grabbing the barrier to steady myself I peeked over the side. ‘No!’ I thought, ‘We can’t be this high up!’
Below me, all was a swirling, twirling mass of green trees. Thousands and thousands of bushes and plants waved wildly, a couple of hundred metres below me. The monstrous lake stretched out at the very bottom, whipped up the by the wind. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I backed away, scared out of my wits. I bumped into someone. I heard a voice say, “It’s O.K. You're not going over the edge.” Miss Hill must’ve sensed my fear. I decided not to look down again.
After getting down, my joints were still quivering with shock. It had been an amazing experience but it was definitely, the scariest part of my life!
Self Reflection
⭐ I think I did well doing my Introduction, Paragraphs, Conclusion.
⭐ I added lots of details and personal reactions.
💠Challenge myself to use more advanced vocabulary.
